I had a hot date last night. Things were going well so I took her back to her house, dropped her off, and went home to masturbate.

“Though I can and sometimes do use chopsticks, I much prefer using my hands to p…”

“I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.”

“I’m sure you could win with a design that I’d cast off as trash. Such is the cu…”

“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small kn…”