I had dried jizz on my pants, so I took it to my dry cleaners. My pants got clean, but it must have taken quite a few licks to get that stain out.

“That night when we made love, she saw a side of me she’d never seen—the left si…”

“There is nothing more romantic than candles and flowers, except candles that sm…”

“I can guess which car my boss drives. I’ll just look for the one with the hole …”

“He’s a buying dude, and I’ve got to sell him something—like my credibility. (On…”