I had no idea he thought he was funny, tried to be funny, or actually is funny until he made me laugh so hard I peed all over his feet at the urinal.

“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruc…”

“She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I pr…”

“I started out on a treadmill—and I just did my first marathon. And all while si…”

“My uncle missed the sixties. Not because he was too young. He just simply slept…”