I had to sell my cigarette boat, for fear it would cause cancer.

“It’s 3:33 am as I’m writing this down on loose sheets of printer paper. I’m in …”

“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as dea…”

“I’d dig your grave with a spoon, if the earth were made of green Jell-O.”

“I collect sounds. I store most of them in my ears, but some, like the sneeze, I…”