I had to stop selling stick-figure portraits of women at the beach, after too many customers complained I was making them look “too fat.

“I thought it was a tree log, but it was just an erect elephant penis. But that …”

“If instead of saucers, UFOs looked more like breasts, I’ll bet there’d be a lot…”

“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve…”

“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “Th…”