I had wanted to call him.
There were so many things I wanted to talk to him about.
And that I wanted to ask him about. But... I kind of hated myself... for feeling that way.
Because... thinking about Nomiya-san... felt like a betrayal of myself, of everything I'd felt for the past six years.
It made my feelings for Mayama seem like a lie.

Other people might think it's pathetic.
That I'm pathetic.
But my feelings for Mayama...
My love for him...
Was the only thing I had.
It was my treasure. My cold, bright treasure.

Dear God. I never wanted to be saved. I wanted to stay miserably in love with Mayama forever.
I wanted to stay in love with him for ten years, twenty years, so he would know just how strong my love was.
...Even though I knew that would be totally meaningless.

Author: Chica Umino