I have a lot of faith. I mean, I believe I do.

“The car wash sign said, “Free Vacuums.” So I told them I wanted a high-powered …”

“Drought is the best thing that ever happened to my lawn. And my beard.”

“A blanket could be used as a duvet, in the fight against elitism.
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“Is there relationship insurance? You know, in case someone steals your signific…”