I have a responsibility as a human being to care for animals—including politicians.

“I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so …”

“When you’re as ugly as I am, you need all the beauty sleep you can get. I’ll be…”

“A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and …”

“My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.”