I have just been elected Captain of the Nap Squad. It's a very exhausting position, and requires training twice a day, once when I get up and once before bed.

“Don’t try blowing smoke up my ass, because you’ll find my anus blocked—by a cig…”

“I want to move to a ghost town and try to sell the population bodies to dwell i…”

“This book has nothing to do with cats. Or mice. Or self-motivation. This book i…”

“A blanket could be frozen and used to cool off a warm body as you slowly thaw i…”