I have women all over the world. In New York, London, Los Angeles. I think what they find most appealing about me is the distance.

“I make love like a leprechaun, and I cuddle like a rainbow—after a shower.”

“She grew broccoli, and I grew dentures. We were perfect for each other. Our lov…”

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this …”

“A brick could be used to prop up a wobbly table—or an unstable relationship. I …”