I haven’t won an award, but I have won over an award winner.

“An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bu…”

“My teeth are filthy, so to impress my dentist I compensate by wearing too much …”

“Be like a sparrow aspiring to be an ostrich, and I’ll be like a cowboy with no …”

“I’m halfway to being a father. Not 4.5 months out of 9, but ½ of a mating ritua…”