I just started seeing someone, which is a relief, because the last girl I dated was invisible.

“If love were a color, it’d be transparent, like all women’s clothing should be.”

“When he misbehaves, I’ll clap and then point at my cat, as if transmitting the …”

“Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul…”

“I must be pregnant, because I’m craving some strange food. Right now I feel lik…”