I just took a shit that smelled like a dentist’s office. Open your mouth.

“Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy.
”

“My mother always told me not to pick my nose, so I’m going let the plastic surg…”

“If I were a paper pusher for a living, I’d be pissed if my coworkers moved my d…”

“I heard my friend’s car wouldn’t start, so I mailed him a parking lot. I should…”