I just weighed myself, and I thought I weighed 165, but it turns out I weigh 180. Wow! I’ve put on muscle mass and I haven’t even been working out at all!

“I don’t get the phrase, “Cut to the chase.” When I’m exasperated with all the v…”

“I want to blanket the city of Hamburg with a slice of melted cheese.”

“I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sug…”

“I ate a Danish. Better than eating someone from Finland.”