I keep the ketchup in the fridge, though from now on I’m going to keep in the bottle. Less messy, I figure.

“I can’t tell you how much I love kissing ass. Especially wealthy, cellulose-sti…”

“I used to live with someone of the opposite sex. It’s called a sister, and I do…”

“I tried to make it out in the moment, while we were making out, but now I’ve go…”

“A wink and a glance walk into a bar. I know because I saw it out of the corner …”