I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I accidentally killed the cat too.

“I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no ma…”

“He’s going to give me a piggyback ride home. He’s my designated walker.”

“The future seems so crowded to me. All I see is me, me, me, me, me and a millio…”

“I keep an outfit of my baby clothes on a hanger in my closet. It hangs there li…”