I knew it, but I knew you didn’t know I knew it, so I knew to not let you know I knew it by acting like I didn’t know it.

“I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that rea…”

“This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So…”

“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves st…”

“I’d love to be a color commentator, but I can’t, because I’m white, and white i…”