I like to get to-go boxes at restaurants where not only did I not eat in, but apparently their patrons didn’t either, judging by how much food they left on their plates.

“Orafoura was yelling at his dog (not a German shepherd) in German, and I though…”

“So I just got a call from the hotel, and they want me to start work tomorrow. I…”

“The reason we talk with the same part of the body we eat with is because if we …”

“The British Empire covered 25% of the earth. So the phrase “The sun never sets …”