I like to schedule dentist appointments for March 32, otherwise known as April Fool’s Day.

“The scent of success, it smells like body odor.”

“Hellos are ascending in speed, not slowing down like goodbyes. I may say hi as …”

“My body had some sort of reaction to my erection, and the only thing I could th…”

“I’d make a great color commentator. Turquoise.”