I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof).

“Which is more valuable into showing how I think: the order I think of things, o…”

“What do you call a schooner in a wine glass? Port.”

“A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football ga…”

“The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t aro…”