I like wearing earth tones, and ties with little shovels stitched on. I stitched them on myself.

“To live up to its name, softball should be played with a human testicle.”

“I hate noise pollution. Get that filthy soda can out of my ear!”

“In middle school, Renaldo was voted most likely to vote in a Presidential elect…”

“I hate it when I go shopping and leave my wallet at home, in my pants, along wi…”