I long for your love like the length of a midget.

“My crotch is the center of my body, but not the center of my being. That would …”

“I haven’t seen my old friends in a while. Maybe next week I’ll go visit them in…”

“Whenever I schedule an appointment, my general rule of thumb is, tomorrow is be…”

“Sure, I’d fake my own death. But only if I had the following items: duct tape, …”