I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when you make eye contact with your clone.

“The speaker was so boring that he put me to sleep. But he didn’t stop talking, …”

“His breath smelled like a one-inch tall man wearing stinky socks used his tongu…”

“On my wedding night, I want to make slow, passionate rush hour to my wife at we…”

“Politics is all about showing you have integrity—and hiding the fact that you r…”