I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup?

“If I could adorn myself with a question, I’d wear a where. It would never go ou…”

“I can’t believe you think that I can’t believe you don’t think that.”

“I wear a mustache, both as a disguise—and as a cooter tickler.”

“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing yo…”