I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by dinner I mean marry her.

“Today is 8-9-10. August, 9, 2010. So hooray for Chronologically Ascending Day!”

“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afrai…”

“You can call me Dr. Love. I’ve got a PhD from Cupid University. My degree came …”

“I long for your love like shortness of breath. Somebody get me an inhaler!”