I made love to a woman 20 years older than me. The impressive part is that I was only eleven at the time. I saved my allowance for two years to be able to afford her services.

“Sitting on my ass all day long is fun and all, but I’d rather sit on your ass. …”

“Get your head out of the clouds. Stop huffing the atmosphere.”

“I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I acci…”

“He was cold and ugly, so I lent him my invisible cloak. He was grateful and sai…”