I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).

“I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exa…”

“I lean on my friends for support. It’s better than leaning on a crutch, because…”

“I know it’s not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It’s on s…”

“I’m wearing shoes made of sea foam, and I am here to seduce the elderly. If you…”