I make love like I make lasagna. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.

“Most men want sex, without the kids or commitment. I want sex, but I don’t want…”

“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe …”

“I bought an empty safe, and I keep it empty, because safety doesn’t exist, so m…”

“A bathroom that doubles as an elevator would be a great place to open a coffee …”