I make ridiculous like I make damn sure nobody sees me while I’m making it.

“I want to make a splash in the world, and I want to make one with my dry wit. M…”

“I’d hang a walrus on my wall, and I’d name him Russ. But I’m not a hunter—I’m a…”

“A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid.…”

“To be the best, you have to be willing to do what nobody does. And today, if no…”