I met a guy who had an interesting job. He was a meat cutter, or a meat slicer, something like that. I probably butchered his job title.


“Ever since I was fired for sleeping on the job I’ve worn a shirt and tie to bed.”

“I put a saddle on my salad, and I rode my horseradish to Rhode Island, where I …”

“He’s a buying dude, and I’ve got to sell him something—like my credibility. (On…”

“There are 365 days in a year, and 360 degrees in a circle. Coincidence? I think…”