I need your compliments to feed my ego, because it’s bored of mac and cheese. And honestly, so am I.

“Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had…”

“I like making money. I make it out of wood. I make nickels mostly.”

“How do you seduce a whole continent? One person at a time.”

“Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but whe…”