I need your help. Hold this water balloon while I pee in it.

“When I go to a restaurant and they say, “How many in your party?” and I say, “O…”

“When I look in the mirror, I see not only the person I am, but the person I cou…”

“I’m growing an Abe Lincoln beard. On my ball sack.”

“Her shoes were so pink that if she stepped in bubblegum, nobody would be able t…”