I never hit below the belt, especially if that belt is the rust belt and I’m in Texas.

“When someone asks me if I was born in a barn, I always give them a long face. A…”

“If love played an instrument, I’ll bet it would be the piano. 88 keys, double i…”

“Both things have pros, and both have cons, but I think the pros and cons equal …”

“It’s been said that you make as much money as the average income of your five c…”