I often wonder about lifetime warranties. The lifetime of whom or what? A fly that can live to be a month old, if it was born in the beginning of February?

“I wear a jockstrap with my gun holster (loaded with fruits and vegetables).”

“The cloud cover made for a terrible blanket.
”

“Television isn’t a substitute for a babysitter, but the microwave is. Mmmm cook…”

“I’ll steal bodies, not to be Corporal Corpse, but to have access to a never-end…”