I once got a handjob from a glove. I miss the 80s.

“Love reminds me of when I was six and had a pet goldfish named “Silverbird” tha…”

“My grandpa never read the newspaper. Not because he was particularly optimistic…”

“I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seri…”

“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve…”