I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It’s just business as usual in Washington DC.

“A blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftove…”

“I’ll trade my formal neckwear for your love, if your love has an equal or great…”

“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your …”

“I’d make a great politician. I’d make it out of pig shit, so it wouldn’t be as …”