I own a few yawns that I rent out to people who are tired of the sleazy snooze salesman.

“I think people over the age of 6’2” look great. Just look at me! I was born in …”

“A car’s gas tank should be see-through, so I don’t have to rely on a possibly f…”

“These times are hard, and so is my penis.”

“Johnny Kickstand bullied me in middle school. Today, Kickstand stands 4’7” tall…”