I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).

“A brick could be used to stop a tornado, unlike a mobile home, which only acts …”

“A blanket could be used as a screen to project animated bedtime stories onto, a…”

“You’re as likely to see me sleeping on the job as a snooze is liable to grow le…”

“When I visit England, I want to bring back the best souvenir an American can ge…”