I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor. 


“She’s ultra conservative, while I am ultraviolet. I would show, but I’m beyond …”

“I didn’t form my lips into the shape of a kiss. I was merely about to whistle.”

“Last week I placed a hand-written sign in front of my neighborhood that read, “…”

“Inside my skull is a turtle shell. Inside the turtle shell is a rabbit. And ins…”