I put my heart in a paper cup, so she’d be more likely to drink it up.

“If you want to see how fast I run, just give me a football helmet and notice ho…”

“My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream.…”

“It is Father’s Day today. I should probably call all three of mine and say Hell…”

“I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I can’t go anywhere. Maybe I’ll try…”