I put tin foil on our relationship and stuck it in the fridge, because it needed to cool down a bit.

“Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, ma…”

“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of pa…”

“I drink coffee like goats walk on tightropes. It’s fun to watch, but it sure wo…”

“I live 30 times faster and more intensely than most people, so every year is a …”