I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral.

“People don’t know what I’ve gone through to get where I’m at—six tunnels and th…”

“I’d rather be the fastest runner than the best fighter. But then I am a supreme…”

“I didn’t write this piece to attract a potential mate, as the title might lead …”

“I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy…”