I saw her from afar. The game was afoot. I had astiffy.

“My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well,…”

“I like to keep a shotgun in my room for protection. You know, just in case my a…”

“I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.”

“Whenever I drink, I always have one too many. Of course, I only ever drink one.”