I should charge my bank money every time I endorse the back of a check. What is the going rate these days for the autograph of an aspiring writer?

“Republicans are a glass half full, and Democrats are a glass half empty. Either…”

“A blanket could keep a family of three warm for a lifetime, but global warming …”

“The two lovers were inseparable. Well, I guess death could split them up. So co…”

“I am a juxtaposition. And at the same time, I’m not. I’m always like this becau…”