I should make a tongue condom shaped like an oven mitt, so my mouth’s spoken language muscle is protected from hot coffee.

“It was a cover up. I could tell by the dust jacket.”

“Most people buy the highest quality television sets, only to watch the lowest q…”

“Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portabl…”

“Empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I used to have for her. Now al…”