I slept so long last night that when I woke up I discovered a city had sprung up under my left armpit. This was staggering considering when I went to bed it was just a sleepy town.

“I like the New York Times. I only wish it were softer, and more like toilet pap…”

“Would you mind a mind blindfold, a block on your imagination? You couldn’t crea…”

“Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?”

“I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.”