I spend all my time trying to capture the moment. And when I do, I'll interrogate and torture it.

“I saw her standing across the room, and I thought, “Wow! Who is that sexy woman…”

“There is life, and there is death, and in between there is me. Please don’t wak…”

“I’m great at making love, at least for the first 20 bucks, and for about 30 min…”

“There is a hole in my buttocks. I’d like to return it, or at the very least exc…”