I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.

“I found love in the arms of another woman. Who needs two legs, a torso, or talk…”

“I like the way I look, but I don’t like the way my mirror presents me. It’s bia…”

“I don’t care about being cool. I just want to be loved by half the world (100% …”

“Because I’m emotionally immature, I’d prefer letting go of you early and always…”