I used to swim and dream of having a few Olympic gold medals to my name. But that’s out of the question now, with the ever-rising price of gold.

“I had a great view of the sunset. At least until father went and changed the ch…”

“It’s tough to lose one parent, but to lose two—in a murder/suicide no less! But…”

“My OCD governs my actions like a governor, but I didn’t vote for it. No, I vote…”

“If people lived to be a thousand years old, there’d be extreme inequality, base…”