I vote to have my vote voided—which means my vote won’t count even when it counts, and it will count even when it won’t count.

“I’m not that afraid of heights. I’ve been 7,000 feet above sea level. Just so l…”

“My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee…”

“With over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.”

“I’m twice as twice as the guy in second place. My love comes first.”